Breath out so I can breath you in

OOC

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 01:43:25 GMT

Kay. So I have no clue where the other girl from this has gone. She went from coming online almost everynight to never. So I gather this is over. It might sound lame but I just hope she's ok above everything.. and if she reads this she could let me know maybe?

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 20:33:15 GMT

I know I'm late.. so I'll just keep it short-ish. I took him out like I said.. it was all really cool. I didn't know how to say it so in the end I just kinda blurted it out. I was paying the bill and he said "Why won't you let me pay for anything?" so then I said... "cause I love you" when I write it down like that it sounds really. lame. But at the time it seemed an alright enough thing to say i swear. Anyways.. so then he had this really cute look on his face and he said he he loved me toooo. I'm so HAPPY haha. Nothin much else to say about it really.. we just went home and had some damn good sex =P

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 17:13:37 GMT

So I'm in my new place now. I had to wait for a while before the phone lines were set up and stuff till I could get back online. I've never lived on my own before so it's been kinda weird. But if I'm honest.. I spend most of time time over at Joels lately. I'm taking him out tonight.. I haven't told him anything about it like where we're goin but he knows I'm picking him up at 8 so that's all that matters for him. I'm gonna take him to this really fancy place someone was telling me about a couple weeks ago, just because I'm SUCH a good boyfriend and I can.. I kid. But there is a whole point to it cause sometime tonight I'm gonna tell him I love him.. cause I really do. Yes, I'm one of those people who thinks being in love is a huge deal, I admit it. I just hope it all goes okay, I'm pretty sure it will though.

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 20:51:45 GMT

I don't really know what to update on but I'm trying to get on this thing more. Why? I'm not really sure but if I have one of these thing I might as well use it.

Everything's going really good... like, really good. It's kinda weird but I'm definitely not complaining anytime soon.

I've found me a new palce to live mmhmm. It's only about 15 minutes away from where I'm living now, just 2 room apartment. Although one of the rooms is more like a closet.. by hey. What would I need two rooms for? So yeah, I've just been packing up my stuff.. slowly. But I'm getting there.

Do you even remember who I am?

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 14:03:55 GMT

*hangs head in shame*
I haven't updated in almost a month.. I know, bad Benji.
To be honest I've hardly been on my computer at all last couple weeks. I only really ever come on it now to talk to Joel online and he's been away so yeah.. didn't really have a reason to come on so much. He went to Australia for his sisters wedding, it was really weird. Like he didn't even know he was going until he got some phone call.. I missed him like crazy. The whole time he was gone I was just waiting for him to get home. He came back a few days ago and I saw him the night he came back, I couldn't stop hugging him all night haha I know two weeks isn't really that long but it felt like he was gone forever.

Other than a hair cut and a few new tattoos.. nothing new is up with me. I think I'm gonna be moving soon though, cause the guy I live with now has decided he wants to live with his girlfriend now and there's no way I can pay the bill on my own. Probably just look for a little apartment somewhere, I should start doing that soon actually.

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 10:12:13 GMT

I really need to start coming on this thing more often, if I keep going the way I am no ones ever gonna read this again.
Anyways, for anyone that cares I've been really enjoying life lately. Since I've been with Joel I've just been feeling alot happier, I guess he does that to you though. I don't think I've ever caught him in a bad mood. We've been spending quite a lot of time together and yeah, things are going pretty good. I honestly haven't been this happy in a long time.
uuum, what's else has been going on with me?... Not a whole lot. Just been living my normal boring life. I rule.

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 20:19:24 GMT

So.. Joel is my boyfriend now...... yup!
=D

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 19:15:35 GMT

Hmm, I havent been here in ages cause well.. nothing worth writing about has really happened.Apart from what went on a few days ago.
I went out with Joel cause we hadnt seen each other in ages so we went the the movies. There was another reason why I asked him if he wanted to go out though.. I was gonna ask him out on a date cause I really do like him now. Anyway, so we went to see charlie and the chocolate factory which is actually quite good.. you should all go see it. Then when we were walking out I was kinda nervous cause that's when I was gonna ask him, but he asked me if I wanted to go back to his for a drink first so I just agreed and went back to his place. The whole time I was over there I was just thinking to myself what a great guy he actually is.. so yeeeah. we spent the rest of the night just chilling out in front of the tv. When it was pretty late I called up my cab and that came pretty quick, as I was leaving I just thought.. 'what the hell' and well, I kissed him. At fist he just stood there and I thought I'd just made an idiot out of myself but after a few seconds of me mumbling like a fool he kissed me and oh man, it was a really awesome kiss. I swear I was beaming for the rest of the night cause of that kiss.
So then I went over to his again the next night and it wasn't weird or anything like I thought it might've been.. we were just being normal and goofing around. Then after a wile one of 50 cents songs came on and.. I have a new found love for that guy cause I don't even remember exactly what happened but Joel kissed me again and that lead to us making out for quite a while. What can I say.. I like kissing him
The thing is now I'm not really sure where we are or anything.. so tonight if he's online I'm gonna ask him out on that date.

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 20:38:41 GMT

WELL, I got back from New York a few days ago. Joel asked me if I wanted to go cause James had booked a room for them or something but anyways, it was awesome.
I knew Joel was gonna be excited about it cause when we were talking about going he was going on about how he wanted to do all the tourist things and wow.. he was not joking. We went to all the places and cause he's Joel he took like a million pictures. Um.. I got to share a bed with Joel? Yeeeah, that was interesting to say the least. I almost got a bit to used to doing that, but I guess it was cool while it lasted and all.
So, yeah. New York is a really great place.. if you haven't been there you really really should.
I really suck at this thing, anyway I thought I might as well post a picture of me and Joel that he sent me cause.. I'm bored.

Joel's the one wearing MY glasses

Oh yeah, we're cool.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 20:37:46 GMT

Okay, this is probably going to be a bit of a venty update so yeah.. you've been warned?
So, Joels party was Saturday and it was really good and everything. Everyone was having a good time then quite a while into it I was still trying to get Joel to dance, cause I really wanted to see it cause I knew it would be hilarious. Anyways so I was with Joel and he was slightly dancing but he was so drunk I don't think he could even walk straight.. then James came over. He practically dragged Joel outside and I didn't know what the hell was goin on so I followed them out and now I'm really gald I did. I could hear a lot of shouting going on but I didn't pay much attention to what either of them was saying but I'm pretty sure it was something to do with Joel being with me or something. Then the next thing I saw.. just made me so mad. He hit him, James actually punched Joel. I wasn't even thinking when I did it but I went straight over and hit him and told him to leave Joel the hell alone like.. he's his boyfriend he really shouldn't do that. He left after that and when I spoke to Joel online he said he hadnt seen him since. So yeah.. I really just hate that guy now. I don't know if Joel is still with him, I was talking to him and he said something about wanting to wait until James spoke to him about it. But right now I have no idea what's going on with them.
But on another notice.. I think I like Joel.. alot.

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 20:50:37 GMT

So what's been going on in the amazing life of me?.. nothing.
I finally met James on Friday though, that was.. interesting. As soon as I got to Joels place I could tell that he had already made his mid up that he didn't like me. If I ever said anything he would just sit there and not react to it. All his other friends I got to meet were really cool though, and I feel better about going to his party he's having for his 21st now I actually know some other people whoa re gonna be there.
One really bad thing that happened though was when I went outside just to have a break from people Joel followed me, the James followed him. He just starting speaking a load of shit about how he "knows what I'm after" and that I should stay away from Joel and I swear if Joel hadn't of been standing next to me I would've just punched him. So yeah, that's really pissed me off cause he's acting like he owns Joel or something and it's just really not cool. I think Joel could do ten times better than this guy but hey, what do I know.

I stay wrecked and jealous...

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 19:54:47 GMT

I'm in a really weird mood right now so sorry if half of this doesn't make any sense. I said goodbye to Josh for good this morning. He's moving somewhere that's like.. 5 hours drive away so we've decided to just end whatever it was that we had while we were ahead. We're still gonna try and keep in touch as friends, although I have a feeling that'll probably only last a few months max. I was really starting to like him and stuff so.. yeah, that sucks.
I'm kinda botherd right now about Joel too, I know I shouldn't be and it's none of my business but it seems like his boyfriend, James is a real asshole. They're fighting right now about something like.. He gets pissed off with Joel when he goes out or something and it doesn't make sense, unless he's one of those weirdly obsessed people. But I think Joel's really upset about it but I don't blame him really. Usually I hear that James is this really nice guy now I just.. I dunno. I know Joel doens't desrve this though.

Sun, 29 May 2005 19:12:33 GMT

wow, okay.. I havent been here in ages, I kinda forgot all about it but I was really bored and I thought I might as well just come on here to pass some time... SO no... I'm not dead or anything for anyone that might care. Everyones probably forgotten I exist anyways. I just haven't been online a whole lot lately. uuum things with Josh are going really well right now so I've been spending most of my time with him. Other that that.. not much has been going on really. The last time I actually went out was a couple weeks ago or something like that with Joel to this really.. weird palce. I can't even remember how going there came about or anything but all I can say is I won't be going there ever again. I haven't actually talked to Joel in ages either, we've gone to speaking almost everynight to not for a week or so.. maybe I'll call him or something I dunno.

edit: wait.. I forgot.. Joel came over LAST week cause he wanted me to teach him some stuff on guitar.. it was pretty funny trying to get him to play something. I mean he wasn't.. BAD but.. yeah!

Sat, 07 May 2005 19:10:55 GMT

Whoa.. I kinda forget all about this thing but I'm really bored right now and i was thinking about something to do and i remembered about this so.. yeah i am still alive.
i havent really been up to much.. out a week ago i went out with Joel to this club in search of a guy.. i think i wrote about that in here.. anyways yeah so it was a pretty good night. i ended up getting a few numbers but i only really wanted to see two again. i called Josh first cause from what i could remember he was the one i like best and we went out.. i had a really good time and we went out again last night too so i'm not gonna call the other guy i dont think. Yes.. Benji is happy about this guy. God im lame.
Today was my brothers birthday. I went over to their house and it was just a typical day over there. My dad spend most of the time infront of the tv so *shrug* i left there about two hours ago cause Dan was going out with his friends so now im here updating this thing and talking to Josh online.
and im still bored... gah.

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 20:51:44 GMT

Soooooooo haven't been here in ages.
Uuuum.. Last Thursday I went to see rancid and of course it was awesome, thrid time ive seem them now and i still think they're amazing. i was going with my friend Roz but it turned out Joel had a ticket too so we met him there. it was good to see him again, hes really fun to hang out with and stuff. so after that i havent really been up to much cause ive been pretty ill. i know, diddums. im a big baby when im ill but im pretty much okay now so im happy. im going out tomorrow night.. im in search of a boyfriend. i feel so lame.. but i really just wanna be with someone. im fed up of being single. im gonna go over to Joel then we're getting a cab to some bar he found out about so im looking foward to that.

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 12:05:11 GMT

So on Friday I went out with Joel. That was pretty cool, I felt kinda bad though cause people kept coming up and talking to me and I just felt kinda rude cause I was there with Joel but I had to keep on having conversations with other people while he just.. sat there. But anyways, it was a cool night... much better than staying home alone any day.. .

Then on Saturday I decided to go see my family because I haven’t in a while, kinda wish I’d stayed at home. I got there about 2 and my mom was all happy to see me and my dad was just... being my dad and ignoring me. Then I went to go upstairs to see my brother and my dad says “I don’t think I want you alone with him up there you might talk him into being gay.” So then that just really pissed me off it’s like.. He seriously needs to get over me being gay. I went up there and left my dad muttering about something or other. Dan, that’s my brother, he’s so cool. He’s almost 20 now and.. I don’t know he’s just really fun to hang out with. More like a brother than a friend sometimes. Sooo.. I stayed with him for a couple of hours then went downstairs and said bye to my mom and left. I love my family so much.. But if my dad STILL thinks he can just ignore me cause I’m a “fag” then I think I might have to just… not go over there anymore or something even though I really don’t want that to happen.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v709/lkc/finishedflies.bmp

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 20:55:13 GMT

uum... im bored so i thought i would come back here and see if i can pass some time.. first off i wanted to say thanks and hi to everyone that has added me as a friend or left a commnt.. thanks guys :)
Havent been up to much since work.. my friend who i live with has been staying at his girlfriends alot lately so ive pretty much been on my own. i think hes gonna move in with her soom or something, wouldnt surprise me.
i have work tomorrow which im sooo looking forward to, i have every other friday off but tomorrow is my shift. but im going out later in the night with the guy joel from pauls pary and im actually looking foward to it.. we really seem to get on and i like talking to him online so yeah.. that should be fun.

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 20:59:35 GMT

kay.. this things is stupid. i wrote my entry and then i went to post it and it just.. didnt work and then it got rid of everything i wrote.. so now i cant be botherd to type it all up again. but it was pretty much this..

i hate mondays, work was boring. but its a 7/11 what do i expect? i think i need a new job cause c'mon. im 26, im really going places. or not. the highlight of my weekend was my friends party. it was cool cause i got to see some old friends and meet new people too. i ended up swapping e-mail addreses with this guy called Joel, hes pretty cool. you know the worlds doin good when you start giving out your e-mail instead of your number but whatever. im talking to him now and yeah.. i like him. and im just gonna stop now cause im lazy and i dont want to type anymore.
see, Benji = boring.

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:39:55 GMT

hey.. first entry.. i dunno what to say really. im a pretty borin kinda guy.
I thought I would get one of these things cause I always hear about them so I thought I would come along and see what all the fuss is about. hopefully I can find some decent people on here or something.
dont be afraid to IM me or add me on here.. i like talking to new people ;)